At the end of August I promised another post about my birth story, as I had more thoughts on it that I wanted to share. As I’m sure you can imagine, I’ve been busy. But, ICAN is looking for CBAC stories (c-section birth after c-section) and I wanted mine to be complete to submit. 🙂
It’s now been just over 10 weeks since my 3rd c-section. I’ve fallen more in love with all 3 of my children each day. I loved (almost) every minute of my time at home with them. I’ve been back at work for 2 weeks now, which has been difficult, but it’s where we are in life right now. Anyway, I’ve also spent a lot of time in reflection on my 3 c-section experiences, thinking of the things I learned in each. In this post, I’m going to take the time to share some thoughts on each – what made each unique, what I wish I’d known, etc. I’m hoping that sharing will help another woman out there facing a c-section (whether your first, 2nd, 3rd, or beyond). I am not claiming to know everything about the subject, but it is something that I do have experience in and care about.
#1 – My first c-section, as I shared here, was not a planned section.
What did I learn?
– That I am stronger than I thought.
– That I knew very little about birth issues.
– That I trusted my doctors more than I trusted myself (the understanding of that lesson came later).
What was unique about that section for me?
– The experience of induced labor.
– It was my first time being a patient in the hospital.
– The unexpected sadness after having a baby.
– Difficulty nursing the baby that lasted for a week.
What do I wish I knew? At the time, I didn’t even know enough to wish I knew more. (Does that make sense?) Looking back, there is a lot that I wish I knew…
– The recovery time after a c-section.
– The physical changes and recovery are challenging (to say the least).
– The full range of emotions to come.
– How nursing is supposed to work.
– The normal process of birth (as in, not the medical list of potential complications and interventions).
#2 – My second c-section, shared here, was planned.
What did I learn?
– That I am even stronger than I knew going in.
– That I still trusted doctors blindly.
– That I wanted/needed to learn more before having another baby.
– That a planned section is somewhat “easier” than unplanned.
What was unique?
– No contractions at all before having the baby.
What do I wish I knew?
– That I had other options. Granted, the section was due to baby’s position, so the “options” I’m referring to here are basically that attempting to turn the baby with various methods would have been advisable and safe.
#3 – My third c-section, shared here, was a hopeful VBA2C turned planned c-section.
What did I learn?
– Again, the strength…
– That it is OK to exert your strength and share your wishes with medical professionals.
– That I am not in control of everything (not that I really want to be – just in certain areas…).
– A whole lot about birth issues, natural childbirth, methods to turn baby, etc. (This was through the pregnancy, not necessarily the delivery, but it is important.)
– That a c-section can be “mom-friendly.”
What was unique?
– Going into labor spontaneously. Granted, it didn’t progress far, and I don’t even know how much dilation took place, but it was the only time for it to happen.
– We chose to see midwives rather than (and alongside) an OB for the pregnancy. This change helped me to feel empowered during the pregnancy. The relationship with the midwives was much more personal than with an OB. And I really liked my previous OB, too… didn’t always agree, but liked him.
– We had a doula this pregnancy. A huge blessing! We chose not to have her with us during the c-section, because we knew what to expect with that. But, having the visits we did with her both before and after delivery made a difference in my mindset, and helped Mr. A. to be fully supportive of my wishes.
– The time right after delivery – skin to skin contact in the OR, nursing right away, etc.
– The recovery. It was easier this time. I was up out of bed much sooner, I used an abdominal binder for several weeks to help in healing, etc. All going back to really knowing what I wanted and being prepared and educated in the matter.
What do I wish I knew?
– I’ve given a lot of thought to this question lately. Right after having the baby, I wondered if I would have known that I was going to have a 3 c-section if I would have done all that I did to make this experience different. I can’t answer that, but I am glad to have NOT known that I would end up in the OR again. I am so grateful for the opportunity, brought on by previous experiences, to have experienced pregnancy and even a c-section differently this time around. The changes I made would probably not have happened had I known going in that I would have a 3rd c-section. I wouldn’t have seen midwives; I wouldn’t have hired a doula; I wouldn’t have sought the support of ICAN; I wouldn’t have educated myself on birth and pregnancy issues. And, I’m thankful for those choices. Do I wish I’d had a successful VBA2C? Yes. But, I am so thankful for all 3 of my little ones and when I feel sad about the way they came into the world, I can look at them and feel grateful that they did come into the world.
My wish is that all pregnant women be educated and know the choices they have. That they be given accurate information in making those choices. That there would not be pressure to be induced or have a c-section for reasons that are not medically necessary, but rather for the sake of convenience. I hope that by sharing my stories, someone takes the time to read or ask questions that will empower them. Please feel free to ask me questions or share comments here.
